I Won’t Entertain Regret…Anymore

(taken at the top of Wheeler peak in NM)


For the longest time, I’ve been about as complacent with life as one could possibly get.  I’m just comfortable enough and have been for, let’s say 15 years.  That’s sad, I know.  I’ve been pushing and fighting my way through life with just enough effort required to maintain what existence I previously put the time in to achieve.

But, the time has come for me to make a choice.  At 36 years old, finally I think it’s time to spawn a new me.

I don’t mean in the spiritual sense, if you believe in God, which I do.

I’m talking about reflecting on what I’ve actually done with my life and thinking, surely,  I’ve got more in me than this.

The problem is execution.

You see, I’ve been secretly living two lives. 

The one that is my reality.  Punching, fighting, clawing and gnawing my way through life, which, if you haven’t tried it, it’s less glamorous than it sounds.

Then there is the imagined.  I see myself as batman or superman, not spiderman though because he’s too skinny and agile.  Currently I’m the heavyweight champion at the taco truck stand, not even kidding.

With my wife gone for two weeks now, I’ve maintained my body weight with bacon, coffee, and the taco truck.  Oh and don’t forget beer.  Now you get the picture. 

Some of that was in-jest, but uncomfortably close to the truth. 

The life I dream about is this, and this alone.

Spend less time hoping, dreaming, wondering “what-if”, and actually doing something that I have been hoping, dreaming and wondering “what-if” about.

Somehow I’ve been given the challenge to rise up, and wherever it came from, it’s my duty to show up and perform.

It’s time to live an Unlived Life.

It’s hard to explain exactly what my Unlived Life actually is.  On some level I think it’s a lot like the Unlived Life of many other humans out there.  Travel more, experience more, give more, and enjoy simple success.

Let me explain. 

Travel more, not like a tourist.  But as a local.  See the world like it’s without profit for someone else.  Learn from the people that God has put in places beyond my current reach.

That leads me to experience.  Not like my youth, I get so much satisfaction from simplicity.  Like working with my hands to build something that didn’t exist before.  And also from some wild and crazy dreams like climbing the face of El Capitan, or backpacking with my wife and kids for a few weeks at a time (or more).  Everest is heavily commercialized, but something about reaching the summit of our planet intrigues me.  Racing a motorcycle in the salt flats.  Traveling to a new country and learning how to skydive.  Driving from Alaska to Argentina.  Hiking the pacific trail.  The list goes on ad nauseam. 

Give more.  There’s no denying that the more you give the more you receive.  I read a quote from Peter Diamandis one time, paraphrasing, it goes something like this “The quickest way to make a billion is to help a billion people”.  How true is that.  The more people you can help the more satisfying your life will be.  I want to give of myself without expectation.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  The expectation would be that it would give me peace, and a truly wonderful feeling of what it means to live.

Lastly, enjoy a simple success.  Success, when I was young, meant money.  It meant things.  It meant status.  How blind and insensitive to the gift of life could I have possibly been.  Sure, I like nice things.  I appreciate the beauty that comes with exquisitely designed materials.  And the joy of having a nice home.  But at some point you gotta say to yourself, or at least I do, “What is the real meaning of my life and it’s relationship with stuff”.  So from now on, I want to enjoy a simple success.  Which, doesn’t necessarily mean living without nice things or a fat wallet.  It means, simplicity.  It means eliminating the things in life that aren’t necessary.  It means to find joy and success in the minutiae of life.  It means to slowly find some relief from all the problems I create for myself.

So, now that I’ve put it out there.  It’s time to act.  Time to put-up or shut-up, metaphorically speaking.  Time to live my Unlived Life.

I won’t entertain regret…anymore.

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